A Loose Moose
by akaeve
Summary: Is there a moose loose in autopsy. Please remember I'm Scots not Canadian LOL


"Jimmy, Jimmy…..Mr Palmer," Ducky shouted across autopsy at his assistant, who was clearly immersed in the body on the table or was it his music from the iPod. Ducky rued the day Director Morrow, had allowed such things into his space. Director Shepard had continued the practice and here, now this was the result. Dr Mallard made a mental note to speak to Director Vance at the next staff meeting. Ducky crossed the floor and tapped Jimmy on the shoulder, "Mr Palmer…."

"Wow, whoa slow down Dr Mallard," as Jimmy turned doing a little side dance, "Were you wanting something?" he continued.

"I was, have you been eating food in autopsy and not clearing up, or using a plate?"

"No, I have not….not since you gave me a dressing down the last time. You said it might contaminate our evidence and also bring vermin into the building which again could affect the outcome of our findings," Jimmy smiled remembering.

"Quite Mr Palmer, but please come and tell me then what you think these are?" as Ducky faced Jimmy and then turning walked to his desk and pointed to the floor.

"Ahhhh, yes they do indeed look like something the Mus genus has deposited. You know Dr Mallard that the genus _Mus__,_ includes four extant subgenera _Mus__are usually field or house mice__,_ _Coelomys_or shrew mice, _Nannomys__are african mice_ and _Pyromys_ or spiny mice as they are often called…..they….."

"Mr. Palmer I do know the species, now please gather the offending articles into a specimen jar and take tout suite to Ms Scuito, while I tell the Director that we do appear to have an infestation of Mus musculus….and," as he looked at Jimmy, "We subsequently will not be taking any further guests until the place has been fumigated." Ducky concluded, now walking to the elevator.

Jimmy got down on his knees and carefully brushed the droppings into a jar, sighed and went to find Abby.

-oOo-

"Hi Jimmy, what you got for me today?" Abby oozed as she twirled round.

"Dr Mallard would like these analysed ASAP, please," Jimmy now replied handing the container to Abby.

""Mouse droppings?" as she took the jar.

"Yes Dr Mallard thinks we have a mouse."

"Hehe, "as Abby began to sing in a very bad Scottish accent, "There's a moose loose within this hoose."

"Quite, but could you do, like now, he accused me of eating in autopsy," Jimmy now requested, "In fact think I'll wait here until you're done, I don't want the wrath of Dr Mallard."

"Sure," as Abby took the sample and began the tests.

Half an hour later Abby had the results. She turned beaming to Mr Palmer, "Well."

"Well?"

"Well, all is well," she smiled.

"Abby what are they?"

"Jimmies…."

"Yes Abby I'm Jimmy but they are not mine," Jimmy shouted.

"No, they are not yours, they are jimmies, you know, sprinklies…hundred and thousands….those decorative bits." As she gestured a sprinkling motion in thin air.

"Abby, will you tell the Director and Dr Mallard?" Jimmy now requested.

"Of course," as she called Vance, to tell him, who advised that Ducky was sitting with Gibbs. Abby called and requested they both come to her lab.

-oOo-

"Abby?" Gibbs questioned.

"Oh Gibbs," as she hugged Gibbs and then hugged Ducky, "Nothing to worry about…..THESE…" as she picked up the jar, licked a finger, dipped it into the "droppings" and then put in her mouth, looking at the shocked face of Ducky and the surprise of Gibbs, "Are…chocolate sprinklies, jimmies….nonpareiils, muisjes….."

"Chocolate Vermicelli," Ducky shouted, "But of course we used to cal then mouse droppings as a child…..and it was always a delightful way of annoying grown-ups…..So we don't have a problem?"

"Nope," Abby grinned.

"But how did they get in autopsy?" Jimmy now asked.

"If I said there was a trace of ethyl methanoate, as well as 1-HEXEN-3-OL and ETHYL SORBATE, what would you say?"

"Rum essence, and chocolate flavouring….rum truffles…..someone has gone to great lengths not to be caught for some reason," Ducky now added.

"So if we look for "mice droppings" it will lead us to the culprit. Hey come on," as Abby grabbed Jimmy's arm and indicated to Gibbs, "Can I get your team to hunt the culprit?"

"If you must Abs," Gibbs replied, "Just behave."

-oOo-

The culprit sat smugly savouring the evidence. NCIS Probationary Agent Ned Dorneget, he was supposed to be on a diet but a "friend" had made the moist soggy truffles, not wanting to share, he had sneaked into autopsy to taste, followed by a second. Now down by interrogation he was stuffing another into his mouth, again leaving tell-tale "droppings".

-oOo-

The team led by one Abigail Scuito, special forensic agent, closely followed by Mr Palmer assistant to Dr Mallard, but now assistant to Abby, followed by Tony, Tim and Ziva, who was completely lost on the whole proceedings.

"You are telling me that Abby actually ate mouse droppings that were not, because they were chocolate?"

"Shhh but yes, they were vermicelli." Tim answered.

"But vermicelli is pasta, how can you have chocolate pasta?" Ziva questioned.

"Shhhh I hear burping," Abby whispered.

"Ziva, chocolate vermicelli is made from almond dough and in Italian means little worms." Tim explained.

"Hey just thought of something," Tony whispered, "Ver..mice…..lli, short for vermin and mice."

"SHHHHH," Abby and Jimmy shoooshed.

"Who's going first?" Abby whispered to the team.

"Rule 38 Abbs, Your case, your lead," Tony replied.

Abby took a big breath and rounded the corner, "Stand and deliver…..well own up, you need to share those truffles."

Ned turned to face the team, his mouth all chocolate round the lips.

"Sowwrry," he spluttered, "But how did you find me?" Ned now spluttered.

"We followed the trail of droppings, so to speak, so now," Tim began to say, "You will accompany us back to the bullpen where you will make us all coffee and share those truffles. You will apologise the Dr Mallard for making a mess in his autopsy. You will apologise to Director Vance for the inconvenience you have caused and….."

"And you will apologise to poor Jimmy here who almost got into trouble," Abby finished, folding her arms and looking at Ned, who put the lid on the Tin and handed to Tony, "Sorry" was all he could say marched him back to the bullpen.

The End.


End file.
